Once More with a Modicum of Style: A Brief History of the All New L.A. Bizarro

12 years and a smattering of months ago, Matt Maranian and I were sitting on a plush couch in Chateau Marmont, surrounded by well-wishers like Bill Maher and Richard Lewis as our first book was launched with full-fledged fanfare. It was an ugly little morsel, both visually and materially, that was being met with nothing less than enthusiastic response. Within weeks it climbed to the #1 spot on the L.A. Times non-fiction list. Bookstores sold out as soon as shipments came in. Reviews--what few we received--were decent. Our mugs turned up on CNN and local news shows alike. Our mellifluous voices drifted from the radio.  

L.A. Bizarro had arrived.

Then, just in time for the holiday season, the book vanished from shelves. Printing enough copies for eager gift givers just slipped the publisher's mind. And the scarcity continued into the new year, until bookstores and readers alike kind of forgot about the strange little bastard and moved on to sleazier pastures. Nevertheless, over the ensuing decade, the book enjoyed more than 20 printings, and became a cult favorite. It was hard to run into someone in L.A. who had not heard of the book; some claimed it changed their lives.

Matt and I went our separate ways, partly because Matt was moving to Vermont and partly because I was either nodding off at our signings or slobbering on fans at our readings. I had to wear sunglasses on one early morning news show (at 5 AM) just to keep the anchorchick from bolting.
Live television is nerve-racking--unless you sleep through most of it, as I did, awakening only to blurt out slurred and obtuse observations about local abattoirs and poultry gravesites. On another show, the amiable newscasters gave up on me altogether and directed all their questions to Matt. Or was it the same show? It's all a fuzzy wuzzy blur.

So it should have come as no surprise that our parting was anything but amicable (a pattern I now realize has oft been repeated in my life, thus explaining my utter lack of friends). Unfortunately, I was completely oblivious to the fact that Matt was perturbed to be playing the straight man, and it took almost a decade for him to speak to me again--a decision I predict he will come to thoroughly regret.

Interestingly, Matt first had no interest in doing a new L.A. Bizarro. He had nothing but bad memories (aside from my misbehavior, we were burned seven ways to Sunday by numerous parties) and better things to do with his time than write another low-paying sequel. He gave me his blessing and said the the title was mine to do with as I pleased. Of course, I did nothing. The subject was dropped for a year or so, and in that time, Matt apparently warmed to the idea. The next time we spoke, he was up for an L.A. Bizarro update.

And that's all it was going to be at first. An update. Throw out the places that had closed, clean up our sloppy writing (which we found incredibly awful--our publisher didn't see the need for a copy editor), add a few new photos, and we'd be done.

Instead, we rewrote every entry in the book, added about 70% new material, took all new photos, and ended up with a book almost twice as long and four times as legible as the original.  It was a project that took almost two years to complete. Thanks to Chronicle Books (who is NOT our previous publisher), it's now available worldwide.

Though we won't be enjoying any star-studded parties at the Chateau (or anywhere for that matter), we're hoping for a reading/signing here or there if Matt can pry himself away from Boomerang, his Vermont clothing store and come to L.A. We're also open to the occasional plug on TV and radio--especially the latter since I'm agoraphobic (yes, it is ironic isn't it?)and it's easy to get us both on the phone.

You can find the book at many fine local L.A. bookstores, or order it online through our website , which we hope to launch in full bloom any day now. Currently the website only touts the book, but soon there will be a place where you can post your own bizarro experiences, read our blogs and new reviews, network socially, and buy vicodin from foreign pharmacies.

Just wanted to make sure you were still reading.