Then I watched the Republican convention.
I am no longer amused.
A feeling of dread has seeped into my bones, not unlike the one I experienced late in 2000 and 2oo4. As much as I wanted Gore and Kerry to win, I had a sense that Bush would beat them, one way or another.
I'm starting to get that feeling again with McCain, especially following the introduction of Palin to the ticket. Predicting the American electorate is not that hard, really. It's a lot like sitting in a mental ward and predicting whether or not that girl with the cigarette and all the burn marks on her thigh is going to snuff out another one on her leg.
Tsssssssss! There she goes again.
It seems to me that a slight majority of Americans are masochists who would rather suffer through more of the same than face the unpleasant reality that change encompasses. They are masochists in that they are stubborn to the point of self-destruction. Or, to use the AA analogy, it would appear that most of us are in denial about our problems, and won't do anything about it until we hit "rock bottom." Unfortunately for the rest of us, there's no telling whether this crowd sees "rock bottom" and "apocalypse" as being synonymous.
You know these folks: They are the ones who will continue driving in circles rather than admit they are lost. They are the ones incapable of ever admitting they are wrong, even when faced with a mountain of evidence. They are the ones who, when caught in a lie, will grab the shovel and dig deeper rather than tell the truth.
They are the Donner Party, only instead of eating each other, they eat us.
At first, Palin's nomination appeared to be a colossal fiasco. The question that seemed to resonate from both sides of the idelogical fence was the same: Could McCain really be that callow and that out of touch with reality? For true believers, the answer, of course, was no. And so came the swelling of support that culminated in jaw-dropping welcome she received at the Republican convention.
That afternoon, before watching her speech, I joked about her being a VPILF. That night, after turning off the TV, I felt a brief, albeit fleeting, connection to Albert DeSalvo.
Take away the Y chromosome, add some lipstick, and she is Bush. Only worse.
I've always felt that this election was going to be close, and should it swing to the GOP, I would be able to take some solace in the fact that McCain, of all the evils offered up but his party this year, was the least of the bunch. I reminded myself how I actually kind of liked him a decade ago, and talked myself into believing that his flip-flopping and buddying up with Bush and other right wing wackjobs was just a political ploy to get elected. And if he got elected, he would drop the mask and the old John McCain, the one that actually was independent and had balls, would step into the spotlight.
I lost all hope of that with Palin. Now, as they tour the country on The Straight Poop Express, I see exactly what kind of man McCain has become, what kind of woman Palin is, and how weakly the American press bats at their barrage of lies, like a disinterested cat with a worn-out ball of string. I see conservatives "fired up" by this duo, and when Palin's qualifications and character are called into question, the become even more energized. What may very well have begun as a fatal blunder has turned into what appears to be an exquisitely cynical but effective work of genius. Even if it was not intended as such, that is how it's being played, and the press is going along with it. Anybody remenber a guy named Dan Quayle?
If Obama and Biden lose, it will not be because they are unqualified or because they ran a bad campaign. If they lose--and I believe that possibility is increasing daily--it will be because they refused to play dirty in a game where there is no longer a referee, and the majority of the fans in the stands don't give a damn. They just want the sweet smell of victory, tinged with the scent of cigarette smoke and burning flesh.
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